S'mores, you foul temptress!

It's one of the only things I don't like about summer. (The other being that Seattle apartments don't come with air conditioners, which completely sucks during the few scorching summers we have.)


Already, it's started this year. In just about every store circular, you can find S'mores kits beckoning. There are sales aplenty. This week, one store is offering free marshmallows when you buy Hershey's bars and graham crackers. Others have bundled them.


And all this advertising goes on, oblivious of the pain it causes some of us. What about the minorities, like myself, who don't camp? Who don't have a patio and Hibachi suitable for such items? Well, I'm calling a foul! Flag on the play! In other words, just knock it off!


Now, I know some of you will argue that it's for the best. I'm watching my calories, trying to lose weight, etc etc. And the makings for S'mores can, in fact, be surprisingly high. Not to mention the fact that if we had a patio, I'd probably spend the whole summer toasting marshmallows and/or making S'mores until the structure could no longer support my weight.


Technically, as a restaurant chain or two has proven, you can create S'mores with a can of Sterno and some sticks. But I very much doubt my landlord would appreciate the Sterno residue on the walls. And I know Tim's lungs would protest.


And if I took it outside -- marshmallow on stick, huddled over the Sterno and carefully guarding my chocolate and graham crckers -- I think I might just get some funny looks. Plus, knowing me, I'd drop marshmallow after marshmallow into the grass, which would culminate in me eating them off the ground. Did I mention marshmallows and I have an unhealthy relationship?


So, while you're all out enjoying your toasted, marshmallow goodness, take a moment to remember us, the S'moreless Americans. We who are taunted at every turn, in every summer grocery circular, and must resign ourselves to boring old "normal" junk foods. (We're starting a telethon later this year...)