How I relax (frugally) in this economy

How I relax (frugally) in this economy


I need a massage.


Okay, really, we all need massages.


The fact is, we’re getting pummeled with bleak financial news every time we turn around. It’s disheartening – and I think it’s hurting national morale.


And I just watched an episode of Supernatural that was all about how fear can take control of you. Granted, it was a funny episode, as a normally macho guy turned into a simpering dweeb (with a great, high-pitched girly scream, no less). But the point remains: Terror and foreboding can take over, and run your life.


So, instead of contributing to the angst and dread, I want to focus on how to take back control. And the biggest way to do that is to relax.


Of course, the easiest way to relax would be that massage, but most of us can’t afford massages.


So first thing’s first:

Make sure you can’t afford a massage.

• Be their practice dummy. Massage therapists, like all therapists, have to practice. This means that you may be able to get a $30 massage. Usually, it’s for first-time customers only, but hey it’s still a $30 massage. Some people don’t take advantage of this because they don’t know about it. Others are reluctant to try a student. But in the unlikely event that the massage is sub-par, you can always ask for a supervisor and (politely) voice disappointment. Chances are, they will be eager to make amends.

• Barter. Craigslist is a fascinating read. Especially the barter section. You’ll find some pretty esoteric offers out there. You’ll also find a lot of massage therapists offering up their services in exchange for things. Like a lot of independent contractors, many of them want to trade out for health and dental. But many are also just looking to see what they can get. So think of some things you’re good at – from website-building to resume polishing to basic chores – and offer. The worst they can do is say no. Don’t forget that you may also have things they’re interested in. So look through your clutter and see what might appeal. Perhaps it’s not worth a lot, but maybe a discount on a massage?

• Trade. Okay, so maybe you can’t build them a cool website. But look around your clutter. Do you have something they might want? Perhaps something that will get you at least a discounted massage session? And don’t forget about unused gift cards. Others might have a massage gift card to trade. Or the massage therapist might take your gift card in lieu of payment (or as partial payment).



Next: Take a deep breath and try to remember: This will pass. As advice goes, it’s a little old, sure. But the fact is, it’s the best way to survive with your sanity during these tough times.


When the anxiety starts mounting, you need to try to calm yourself down. You can do this pretty simply. You just have to remember that you’re ahead of the curve.


Think about it: We keep seeing all these stories about how the American family is having to change in the face of the dreadful recession. The stories talk about shopping sales, couponing, budgeting, trimming expenses and tons of other things that you’ve already dealt with. You’re much farther along than most of your countrymen (and women).


If you’re still breathing into a paper bag at this point, then you need to make a list. It can be on paper or in your head – whatever works best for you. List all of the things that you have done to further your goal. Be sure to list each expense you’ve cut as a separate item. After all, each one required a decision on your part, so you need to recognize that. Even if you haven’t madeyou’re your changes yet, you probably still have a lot of things to list.


Off the top of my head, we’ve made plenty of changes:


1. Tim and I are using more coupons
2. We’re stocking up on sales to avoid the shopping as much.
3. We are trying to cook more and eat more leftovers.
4. I’m shopping around for cheaper Internet options.
5. I’m buying less candy to cut down on grocery bills.
6. We’re using the food bank
7. We’re making a conscious effort to make fewer impulse buys.
8. I’m trying out online programs to bring in a little extra money to throw at debts.
9. I checked out my credit report to ensure it was accurate (a higher score gives me better leverage with card companies)
10. We lowered our Blockbuster Online membership to reflect our actual needs, saving $15/month.


So take a moment to breathe deeply. Realize that you’re already doing a lot. Think of it as a budgetary rosary. Going over the changes you’ve already made will help you feel more in control of your financial fate.


And if that’s not enough, make a to-do list. Think of ways that you can do more. Then vow to implement one a week (or a month, or whatever) to make your money go even farther. Whenever the anxiety starts mounting, review all the changes you’ve made so far to get away from debt and live within your means.


Finally, if you still need to relax, create your own spa atmosphere. You can make bath salts pretty easily, especially if you have a crafty hobbies store near you. Most of them sell affordable sea salts, and even some coloring or aromas you can add. Or, you can find discount versions at Ross, Marshalls or Tuesday Morning. You can make an affordable sugar scrub with white sugar and mineral oil. It’s great for exfoliating.


Don’t forget exercise is a great relaxer, too. (And an excellent prelude to the nice long bath.) Exercise will help you burn off some of the stress. It will also raise your endorphins. And if you get out, the natural light will be good for you, especially in the wintertime. Take a long walk or jog and you’ll feel better..


Or rent your favorite comedy, pop some popcorn and have a good laugh.


Just do whatever you need to in order to relax and escape a bit. Whatever it takes to feel more in control.

Martha Stewart of frugality? Not me

Okay, I know I began to allude to this in yesterday's post, but I might as well state it for the record.


The reason I felt so compelled to start a blog is because I could never find many frugal tips that could be applied to my situation. There are so many great frugal tips out in the world. But what about those of us with severe fatigue? Or other physical limitations?


I think of PF blogs much in the same way I think of home decor/crafting shows: There's tons of great ideas, but most of us have to find something a little less ambitious.


Of course, there will always be people who have the time/energy/talent to make a swan ice mold out of nothing but old newspapers, bag ties and cut up credit cards.


The rest of us are just trying to keep our the dust bunnies from banding together and staging a coup.


In other words, how do you accomplish debt reduction if you're not exactly the Martha Stewart of frugality?


And so I started this blog, in part to see who would join in the discussion. I'd be interested in getting the perspective of others living with disabilities -- and in that vein, I'm reaching out to some disability blog carnivals.


That said, this isn't just for people with Medicare cards. I think there are a lot of people are trying to find a balance between the advice they hear and what actually works for them. Because there is no magic one-size-fits-all.


So what to do?


Sheesh, but I wish I had the answer to this one. I'm still trying to figure out a good balance for myself.

• How much can I do versus how much I want to be able to do?
  
• How much can planning ahead keep you prepared and how much of life is just going to take you by surprise no matter what?
  
• And how many allowances do you make for special circumstances?

For example, we have cable (just the basic stuff, no premium channels) and cable internet. But we're home all day. Every day. Is this a luxury we could do without? Yeah, probably. But the results would be pretty ugly. So, although those items are technically expendable, I've had to make the executive decision that they're keeping us sane.


And I'm sure lots of people would disagree with me about those. But our situation is very different from a lot of bloggers. And so I have to take all advice with a grain of salt.


There will always be people out there like one commenter from today who said that $1000 isn't that much money. And while he's entitled to his opinion, clearly his life is quite different from mine.


On the other hand, people like him make me feel pretty darn good about my level of frugality. (Cheap thrill, I know, but there it is.)


And now for something completely different...

For a moment, because I am tired and sleep-deprived and because it is almost my birthday (and my blog), I am going to go off on a slight tangent.


I had this class at the UW about decision making in politics. The point was basically that the human brain can only hold so many priorities at once. And it was something appalling like 3 or 5. When's the last time you had just three or five things on your mind?


So if we can only hold that many items at any given time... Well, I think we've found what's keeping us all from being perfectly frugal: Life.


Because life is terribly misbehaved. It doesn't limit the amount of crap going on in day-to-day life just because we ask it nicely. Instead, each of us has to learn how to juggle multiple (and sometimes conflicting) priorities. And no matter how good a juggler you are, you're eventually going to drop a ball or two.


And all this musing about randomness got me thinking about a great scene from "Gilmore Girls." Lorelai is complaining to her daughter, Rory, that she has to write a letter in support of her friend. But nothing's coming:

Rory: Sounds like you're overthinking this. Maybe if you just put pen to paper --

Lorelai: I tried that. I thought, I'll just sit down and write whatever comes. No judgment, no inner critic -- boy, was that a bad idea.

Rory: Really? Why?

Lorelai: Because my brain is a wild jungle full of scary gibberish. "I'm writing a letter. I can't write a letter. Why can't I write a letter? I'm wearing a green dress. I wish I was wearing my blue dress. My blue dress is at the cleaners'. 'The Germans wore gray, you wore blue.' Casablanca. Casablanca's such a good movie. Casablanca. The White House. Bush. Why don't I drive a hybrid car? I should really drive a hybrid car. I should really take my bicycle to work. Bicycle, unicycle, unitard, hockey puck, rattlesnake monkey monkey underpants."

Rory: "Hockey puck rattlesnake monkey monkey underpants"?

Lorelai: Exactly! That's what I'm saying. It's a big bag of weird in there.

And while I am lucky enough to have avoided the dreaded "rattlesnake monkey monkey underpants" phenomenon, I still lie awake at night, trying to shut my brain off. But I have this internal PDA that keeps popping back on and reminding me of all the things I didn't get done today, the things I need to get done tomorrow, the things I really need to start thinking about getting done tomorrow.... And so on.


And with all that noise clattering in my head (much like the state room scene in "Night at the Opera"), how on earth will I ever be able to sit down and make those swan ice molds?


Okay, I want to issue a challenge: I am interested to get a look at the "big bag of weird" in your brain. So I think we should all do a quick list of the overwhelming number of things nagging at us. It should provide some ranting/comic relief. And maybe it'll give us some perspective about why we're all so stressed out!

If I can get at least 10 entries (I'll count mine as one) I'll award a $10 gift card to the best one.